dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
