Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
