I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
