..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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