You work out of a Hotel?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
