can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
