the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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