The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
