sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Damn victory sex feels great
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
