just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I cannot find my penis.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
