i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
