i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize