I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
