Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
