I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
