OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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