I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
