I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
