awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize