did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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