Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
