I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
