Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
