somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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