Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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