shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
