its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
soo... how was my night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
