you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
