In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
