you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
