Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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