Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize