So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
