If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Green mimosas i think yes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
