Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
