Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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