I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
