"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
