Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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