she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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