i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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