just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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