never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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