I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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