If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
