Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
