Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
