do herpes really smell.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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