i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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