Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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