Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
