Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
