Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
