Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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