you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
