Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
