forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
