i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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