So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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