all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
